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"They’re great for folks who aren’t super flexible, or who have a tough time holding up their body weight," Wolfe says. "I don’t recommend classic police-style handcuffs, because they’re metal and could potentially cut one of the important veins near your wrist," Finn says. Like the idea of having to tell your partner exactly what you like, because you can’t show them? This product slips over the base of the penis to limit how much of the penis is able to go inside the vagina during P-in-V intercourse.

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By contrast, the Rin was so gentle that it was a struggle to make it all the way to orgasm, and the Temari, while beautiful to look at and penis pump strong enough, was a little awkward to maneuver. The Kushi is the only one of the three that she tested both in bed and in the bath (all six of the Tenga toys tested are waterproof up to 20 inches), and it worked well in both situations, though it worked faster in the bath. Because the Kushi is nice enough to leave out, she can look at it all day and get excited about playing with it later that night. Overall, Tester M was very impressed with the Kushi, so much so that she is adding it to her permanent toy rotation. Most of all, she loves how the pointed tip and the multiple ridges transmit vibrations to all the right places. "This is the first time I truly understand the phrase ‘ribbed for her pleasure,’" she says.

This was not the case with the less expensive Satisfyer Purple Pleasure. The Beso Plus was our least favorite of the clitoral suction/G-spot dual-stimulator vibrators we’ve tried. Our tester found the "mouth" of the toy to be uncomfortably firm and irritating. If you wish to use a lubricant with your toy (as experts often recommend), keep in mind that only water-based lube is safe to use with all types of toys. Oil-based lubricants are not just unsafe for use with condoms but can also interact badly with toys made of soft plastic or rubber, causing the devices to disintegrate or to leach chemicals (PDF).

We recommend water-based lube because it is safe to use with all types of toys. Generally you don’t need to disinfect toys that only one person uses or that stay covered with condoms. Some nonporous, nonmotorized toys can go into the dishwasher without soap for steam sanitizing.