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That FOMO you describe will be with you, regardless of which path you take, until you tackle where the FOMO is coming from itself. The transparency you want to proceed with requires introspection on your end about these subjects. From there, it might take some time (or it might happen on your first date) to find someone who is as open to discussing the details of sex and dating desires as you are. Safer dating guidelines include letting a trusted friend know where you are, who you’re with, and when to expect to hear from you. If you go to their home or a hotel, let your trusted friend know about the change in location and keep track of where your belongings are in case you need to grab your purse and shoes and exit quickly. There are dating sites and apps that attract people who are looking for, or even simply open to, the kind of casual sex you say you’re looking for.

Butt plugs that have a large base and are made from nontoxic materials – including medical-grade silicone, steel, or glass – are perfectly safe to use. Some people use numbing creams to avoid discomfort during anal play. But this will prevent you from feeling when your body wants you to stop. For your safety, avoid using numbing cream during butt plug use. If you’re not interested in trying a butt plug, or if you’ve tried one and didn’t like it, you shouldn’t be pressured into using one.

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