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Teens and preteens will always snoop through your room at least once, so if you don’t want them to discover your toys, you’ll need a lockbox, safe, or even just a closet that’s always locked. In my time as a sex therapist, I’ve found that couples who are open about their sex toys have better sex lives. If you’re starting your sex toy journey, you should involve your partner as much as possible. I like the idea of getting them a sex toy for Valentine’s Day, a special occasion, or even just a surprise gift.

Though this toy provides powerful, focused stimulation, we found such pinpoint stimulation to be more intense and easier to position with toys like the Lelo Dot and the Dame Aer. If you wish to use a lubricant with your toy (as experts often recommend), keep in mind that only water-based lube is safe to use with all types of toys. Oil-based lubricants are not just unsafe for use with condoms but can also interact badly with toys made of soft plastic or rubber, causing the devices to disintegrate or to leach chemicals (PDF). Silicone lubricants are great for anal play, but unfortunately they interact negatively with silicone toys.

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